Journal Entry // August 1, 2022
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. (ESV)
2 Corinthians 1:9
Faith, hope, trust, dependence, humility, meekness… These are the marks of the believer that follows Jesus by taking up his cross daily. In this journey of faith, there is a continual process of teaching by our Father that reinforces our understanding of our need for humility and reliance upon Jesus. Pride is the central consuming characteristic that is antithetical to all things holy. Pride is the root of our downfall and what keeps us from the comfort that only Christ can bring. Pride taints every area of our life and drives a wedge in our relationship with Jesus. Our Father brings suffering, adversity, trials, and difficulties to not only show us the depth of our sinful pride but to make us rely only on the one true holy God. Our difficulties are here to drive out pride and humble us. Simply to bring us to our knees and seek repentance through faith and to set our hope on Christ alone.
This is the daily challenge of walking in faith. My mind knows all of these things. It knows the dangers of pride and self-righteousness. I have tasted the bitter fruit of self-reliance and living through my own strength. I know what it means to fail so severely and wander away from the good path of following Christ with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Even with this knowledge and understanding, I continue to stray. I continue to believe the lies of pride and self-centeredness. I want what I want when I want it. I know that my pride continues to lead me astray, but I continue to let it lead. I continue to let my self-centeredness make all of this about me. My pride is so strong, that I even go so far as to make following Jesus about myself.
I need to be reminded continually about my need for humility and reliance upon Christ. I need these trials and struggles to reveal the depth of sin in my heart. I need these adversities and difficulties to make me rely upon Jesus. Humility is the engine of faith. It is the very center of following Christ. Christ has redeemed me and brought me into fellowship with the triune God. I not only have a hope for the future as I await the revelation of heaven and the Father calling me home. I also have hope for today as I even now experience life with Christ in this world. Every day is an opportunity to learn more about my Savior and deepen my faith and trust in Him alone. Every day I can seek humility before my amazing Redeemer. Every day, I can once again learn to rely on my God to supply my every need.
Spirit of the living God… Thank you for coming to abide in my heart. Thank you for making your home within me. Thank you for working in me to reveal sin and bring repentance. Forgive me for seeking my own way. For relying on my own strength, and wisdom, and ingenuity. Forgive me for thinking that life is all about me and my happiness. Teach me to be humble. I want to be humble like Jesus. I realize that this path will lead me through suffering and hardship. I know that this will mean hard and difficult roads. Yet, I know that you love Jesus your only Son and he also had to learn obedience through suffering. I know that Jesus was full of humility. I want to be just like him. I want to be full of humility. I want to completely and fully rely on Christ alone to supply my every need. Take away from me all of my selfish pride. Leave only Jesus in my heart.