Journal Entry // March 18, 2022
For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.Luke 8:17 ESV
The deception of the enemy is that the truth of this verse is not a reality in my life. Step one in the process of temptation is to convince my heart and mind that hidden sin will not be made manifest, nor will it ever come to light. For this is the first hurdle any deception must overcome to lure me into temptation. The enemy knows that there is yet darkness that lies hidden in my heart. Darkness that is dormant and hidden even from my own self, as well as darkness that I have hidden in the corners of my heart. It is all of this sin and darkness that will be made manifest in light of the gospel. As the Lord brings the gospel into my heart, it illuminates and reveals those dark sinful areas of my heart. First making them manifest to myself to bring repentance and humility to my heart.
I rebel against this thought. I rebel against the light of the gospel penetrating deep within the recesses of my heart. I can only bear so much of the light. The gospel is going to keep shining and illuminating the dark within me. That is the path of following Christ. It’s what I choose to do with this revelation that is important. Does the light shining on the ugliness of my hidden sin cause me to repent or does it cause me to find better ways to hide? There really are no better ways to hide. There is nothing I can do to stop the gospel from penetrating and revealing the darkness. The only hiding I can really do is self-deception. I try to cover the light of the gospel in my heart by convincing myself that either the sin isn’t really there (this is how god made me) or become numb to the revelation and call to repentance. Numb to the point of ignorance.
This is my worry. I play at sin. I tend to think of my sin as just that… my sin. I own it and control it. This is so far from the truth, but I want to believe the lie. I want to believe it so bad that I never truly see the bonds and shackles of my enslavement. I have so deceived myself that I am unable to see that what I imagine as freedom is in actuality slavery. I reject the source of my freedom by not embracing the light of the gospel and letting it work and cleanse my dark and filthy heart. completely.
This is true freedom. Letting the gospel shine into each and every crevice of my heart. Poking and prodding and revealing all that lies within. Illuminating the good, the bad, and the ugly. Making manifest all that is hidden within. Working with the gospel to dig deep and expose the poison. Then taking each and every hidden sin, every poisonous thought, every wicked intention and bringing it to the cross of Christ in humility and repentance. Removing the hidden lies by exposing them to the light of the cross. This is freedom…
It is hard work. It is a work that will continue for a lifetime. But it is the work I am called to do as a follower of Christ. Lord, give me strength and patience. Engage my heart in this gospel work of exposing sin in my heart. As each sin is revealed, bring repentance to my heart. Show me your mercy and grace. Each and every time there is mercy and grace. I will never ever exhaust the limits of your grace. For each and every time I come in repentance, your are ready to receive me and forgive me. You draw me near. You wrap your loving arms around me and comfort me in your warm embrace.