Journal Entry // April 25, 2021
But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.
Psalm 131:2 ESV
A calm and quiet soul is one that is at rest in the loving providence and care of Almighty God. This soul understands the fear of the Lord and in wisdom chooses to be calm and quiet. This soul does not eat the bread of anxious toil, but has decided to be humbly reliant upon his good good Father. To be like a weaned child with is mother.
A weaned child has no need to worry about the pains of hunger or be anxious about where nourishment will come from and when. No, a weaned child has learned through experience that his mother will provide the necessary food he requires at the right time. A weaned child understands that his mother has proven herself worthy of trust to provide for the child. So too does my soul.
But this is a choice I must make in my soul. The Psalmist tells me that “I have calmed…” He has chosen to calm and quiet his soul implying that his soul is not necessarily in a complete state of peace. The Psalmist must remind his anxious soul about all the good blessings and provision the Lord has accomplished in his life. I must remind my soul of the great promises of the Lord in his word. I must look back at the Ebeneezer’s in my life. Those stones of remembrance that are set up to remind me of the mighty hand of God working throughout my life.
This is what the Lord taught me last night in my prayer. I have been anxious and worried about so much this past week and I could feel the weight of that burden pressing down on my soul. As I shared my fears with the Lord, his comfort washed over me. I want to be like David and live a life where the Lord can say that I am truly seeking after the heart of God. That my heart is intertwined with his. As I recounted this desire and reflected on the life of David, God reminded me that one of David’s strengths was that he continually reflected on the mercy and grace of God working in and through him.
I then reflected on how God has rescued me. How he surely pulled me from the sinking landfill that I was wandering aimlessly through. He pulled me out of that situation and rescued me from the treacherous deceptions that were pulling me under. He removed me completely. It was not a gentle removal by any means, but it was a necessary humbling that my heart and soul was in desperate need. Praise the Lord, he did not leave me nor forsake me. He rescued me!
And now he has placed me in a good spot. A humble place to be sure but this spot allows me the space and humility to reflect and learn from God’s hand of righteous delivery. A space where temptation is considerably lessened. A place where I can learn the lesson of the weaned child. Where I can reflect on the goodness of God in my life and can say in humility that I have calmed and quieted my soul. That I walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. That deep within me the fear of the Lord prevails and his light penetrates the darkness within. That each and every day the perfect light of Jesus and his word continues to reveal new corners of my heart and dispels the darkness therein.