Therefore it is against the LORD that you and all your company have gathered together. What is Aaron that you grumble against him?”
Numbers 16:11 (ESV)
Who is it that I am grumbling against? I need to be careful to consider this question when I am in the moment of setting my thoughts and words against another. This wasn’t just some lone rebel who had a vendetta against Aaron and the priesthood. This was a man who represented a whole company of people who were grumbling and complaining together. A community of people that had taken it upon themselves to not only find fault with the priesthood of Levi but to gather and commiserate together. This wasn’t a healthy community conversation of trying to encourage and challenge one another. This was apparently only an echo chamber of dissension and dissatisfaction within the company. Their complaining had reached a depth that was impacting their relationship with God. Their grumbling grew and festered from mere unhappiness to outright complaining against the Lord himself. It was only when the people got outside their circle of influence that the truth of their heart was confronted. It was when the depth of their sin left the hidden recesses of their hearts and overflowed into action that they were confronted with their pride and arrogance. It was here before the Lord that the true state of their heart was revealed and exposed.
This is the concerning part of this passage for me. I am concerned with how easy it is to stay in my predetermined huddle of people and only receive feedback and advice from those who think and act just like me. To be sure, there is something healthy and advantageous to have people in my life who are of the same mind and faith as me. It is a great gift of the Lord to have like-minded believers that I trust who can speak truth into my life. My concern is not with this healthy company that I keep, but in how this healthy company can turn toxic without paying attention. A healthy group feels the freedom to challenge any suspect and sinful thoughts and behaviors. Yet, over time I can see my groups slipping into mutual complaining and grumbling against a common “other.”
There is always an “other” isn’t there? There is always someone or a group of someones who I want to grumble and complain against. It may be political, cultural, educational, socio-economical, or religious. Often times I just want to complain against church leadership. I let my self-righteousness stir up within me and I then look for an outlet who will confirm what I have already determined to be a problem and together we stir one another up to grumble and complain.
When I tend toward this area I need the Lord to rebuke me. This can only happen when I am regularly engaging with Jesus in daily communion. Now, I don’t mean just reading my Bible, saying a short prayer, and then getting on with my day. What I mean is that I need a daily communion with Jesus where I am asking hard questions about my heart and seek to honestly change and be conformed to the image of Christ. This takes prayers where I ask God to bring humility to my heart. Prayers where I ask God to expose any unrevealed sin in my heart. Prayers where I come before the Lord and lay before him the thoughts that I think are minor and of no concern. In order for my heart to grow deeper in love with Jesus, I must open my heart fully to him. I must be exposed and vulnerable. I must be humbled.
I need a daily refresh with Jesus each and every morning and each and every evening. I don’t need to wait until the thoughts of my heart are revealed to the world through sinful actions. I need to be actively trying to expose the lies and deceptions that I am believing on a daily basis. I need to put into practice these nine practical steps outlined by John Owen.
- Diagnose sin’s severity.
- Grasp sin’s serious consequences.
- Be convinced of your guilt.
- Earnestly desire deliverance.
- Consider the relationship between your sins and your natural temperament.
- Avoid occasions that incite sin.
- Address sin’s first signs.
- Meditate on God’s glory.
- Don’t rush to comfort yourself.