Journal Entry // March 9, 2022
And he said to him, “If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here.
Exodus 33:15 ESV
Just a few sentences prior to this verse, the writer tells us that the Lord would meet with Moses in the tent as a friend would – face to face. Yet, Moses was all too aware that he needed the presence of the Lord leading him and the people in every endeavor and at every moment. The man that talked with God as a friend pleaded with his friend to go with them or to not send them at all. I feel this disconnect at times in my life. Probably more often than I truly realize it, if I give an honest evaluation. I tend to meet fairly regularly with the Lord in the mornings and could even say there is that friendship through the Spirit. But what I tend to lack is this firmness that Moses has about depending on the Lord in each endeavor of daily life.
It’s as though my intentional moments of reflection are similar to Moses going out to the tent to meet with God. It is good and wonderful and personal and fills my heart and soul with joy to meet with the Lord as a friend. And truly that does happen through his Spirit. These times are sweet and bring tremendous blessing to my life. Revealing sin, bringing repentance, bestowing grace. These are the moments that I need to refresh my heart and soul on a daily basis.
But where is my pleading with the Lord for his daily presence to go with me out of the tent and into this world. It’s like I see the tent as a rest stop along this journey. Very needed and invaluable, but ultimately I act as though the journey is my own to endure alone. That the Spirit fills me to be sure, but I tend to work out of my own strength. I don’t really mean to think and act this way for the most part. I don’t truly want to walk this road alone for long stretches between meeting God in the tent.
I want what Moses wanted. I want to be adamant that God go with me as I venture out of the tent each morning and into this world. I want to plead with the Lord to have his presence go before me. To live my daily life in the presence of the Lord. To not rely on my own strength or wisdom, but to understand my weakness and need for humble reliance upon Christ for each and every moment. To take these moments in the tent out into the world and let the world see the glory of Christ shining through my life.
This is my heart desire. This is my longing and hunger… To spend every moment with my holy God who knows me by name and tells me I’m his friend. I want intimacy with Christ not just for an hour or so in the morning, but with each and every breathe I take. Reflexively taking in the love of Christ and letting it then flow out of me into the lives of those around me.