Feet Washing

Journal Entry // April 27, 2022

Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”

John 13:8 ESV

Peter in the Gospels is so often a mirror that reflects the inner thoughts and determination of my heart. He is generally the one that is not afraid to put into words the thoughts that are bouncing around in his head. This passage is no different. Jesus is demonstrating humility and the necessity of servant leadership. None of us are above the necessary role of serving others in our leading capacity, but this washing of the feet was a picture of our necessity to have a heart of repentance. Our bodies are clean if we are in Christ and have been cleansed of our sin through the washing of his blood in our life, but our feet get dirty as we continually walk in this world. We need a daily washing of our feet. We need a daily, humble repentance that keeps bringing us back to the grace and mercy of Jesus.

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Keeping Steady

Journal Entry // April 17, 2021

Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.

Psalm 119:133 ESV

I really enjoyed reading through Psalm 119 this morning. What a great reminder and challenge to cherish the word of God and let it soak deep into your soul and prick your heart. There were so many verses that spoke to me this morning that it was difficult to choose just one. The theme that stood out to me was that I should be delighting in God’s word by engaging my heart and soul with continual meditation throughout the day.

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Broken or Crushed

Journal Entry // April 3, 2021

Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him.

Luke 20:18 ESV

It is such a simple and easy thing to deceive myself. To tell myself simple little lies or half-truths that placate my senses and desires. So simple to take the line that God has drawn as a boundary for the protection of my heart and soul and move it slightly away from the Lord himself and more toward me and my selfish pride. And then each successive moving of the line makes the next one just a little bit easier until one day I look up and see how far removed I am from the presence of the Lord.

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The Hidden Known

Journal Entry // March 22, 2021

Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.

Luke 12:2 ESV

Secret sin is really not so secret after all. It’s the lie we believe each and every day. We are so temporal minded and solely focused on this present life. We are so easily caught up in this world and all it has to offer. We hear the siren call to live for today for tomorrow may never come. But tomorrow will come. And on that day the Lord will reveal the inward heart of each and every person. I will stand before the Lord and be accountable for every word, action, and deed. There is nothing hidden that will not be known. I will stand fully exposed before the face of God.

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Shining Face

Journal Entry // March 7, 2021

May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, Selah

Psalm 67:1 ESV

God’s presence in my life truly does seem to feel like the phases of the moon in the sky. From the new moon where there is no moonlight, to the waxing and waning to the intense brightness of the full moon. It is this full moon presence of the Lord that the Psalmist is referring to in this verse. The presence of the Lord is the picture of his face shining upon us.

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Cursing Response

Journal Entry // December 28, 2021

They were scorched by the fierce heat, and they cursed the name of God who had power over these plagues. They did not repent and give him glory.

Revelation 16:9 ESV

When times of difficulty and trials come to me, what is my inclination? Is it to curse the name of the Lord and blame him for all my troubles or is it to humble myself in repentance and seek the grace and mercy of the Lord? In this passage we see that as the bowls of God’s wrath and judgement are poured out upon the people of the world, there is only anger and self-righteousness in response. John tells us that the people did not respond appropriately in that they did not repent nor did they give glory to God.

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Fearful Truth

Journal Entry // February 17, 2021

But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him and told him the whole truth.

Mark 5:33 ESV

This is the key to faithfulness and humility in life as we continue to live in this world of trials, temptations, and struggles. This woman had done all she knew to do in this world to find healing for her body. She struggled and fought to find healing, so when she realized that Jesus could heal her in an instant she reached out and took hold by faith. When Jesus confronted the crowd with his questioning of who obtained healing without permission, the woman stepped forward in fear. And in her fear, she told the whole truth to Jesus. She revealed the motive of her heart to Jesus and he gave forgiveness and blessing.

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Not Cast Headlong

Journal Entry // February 12, 2021

The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; [24] though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand.

Psalm 37:23-24 ESV

It is a difficult thing to contemplate and examine my heart every morning. To be honest, the times that I skip journaling are typically because I am too afraid to think deeply about the state of my heart through the prism of God’s word. I never really know how the Lord is going to direct this time alone with him and the continued revealing of the darkness of sin in my heart is trying. It seems as though this past year has been one long and arduous trial that has led me to not only examine my heart, but to open and expose my innermost hidden crevices that I never wanted to see the light of day. And at my most vulnerable and exposed, God worked and continues to work to eradicate sin from my life.

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The Closed Door

Journal Entry // December 13, 2021

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Revelation 3:20 ESV

Just after Jesus tells us that he disciplines those he loves and that we should therefore repent, he reminds us that he is standing at the door waiting for us to welcome him in to our heart. His discipline can often make me feel isolated in my shame and guilt but Jesus doesn’t want me to feel that way or to live in that feeling. He wants me to see discipline and reproof for what it actually is – true steadfast love. A love that must bring discipline leading to repentance and in repentance there is openness. Jesus coming to me for fellowship.

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Journal Entry // December 10, 2021

“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.”

Revelation 1:8 ESV

I know this verse. My brain has this verse etched into it’s memory. My prayers are laced with this verse. I truly love this verse. Yet in my practical day to day living, I oftentimes forget about this verse. I live my life as though God is just another object in my life and not the all encompassing Almighty. I will try to put God in a box, a box of my own designation, and even put that box up on a shelf with all the others. Why? So I can deal with God on my own terms and when he asks too much of me, I can simply close up that box and put it away.

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