Now the rabble that was among them had a strong craving. And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat! (6) But now our strength is dried up, and there is nothing at all but this manna to look at.”
Numbers 11:4 & 6 (ESV)
This verse from the book of Numbers is a prime example of what happens to my heart when I am unsatisfied, ungrateful, and ill-contented with the good blessings of the Lord that are given to me. What is being revealed in this scene from the wandering of the people is how easily my heart can turn from being amazed at the wonderful and miraculous provision of the Lord to a lustful desire and craving for a return to the slavery of comfort and familiarity. The cry of the people is that they desire to return to the days of Egypt where they had a wide variety of familiar foods. Foods that they could pick and choose at their leisure. What they were really wanting was a return to the illusion of control and self-determination. This longing for a return to Egypt was nothing more than a craving to be done with the providence and guidance of the Lord. They longed for a return to the slavery and harsh treatment of Egypt because they were only thinking with their stomachs.
This is the same with me as well. I too get this strong craving deep within my heart for the things of this world. A craving so deep and intense that it feels as though I am powerless against it and I must move and act upon this desire. I give this craving power. I coddle this craving. I think about this craving all the time. I let this craving grow and mature in my heart. I give it power in and over my life.
Yet, this craving is a deadly poison. It is a slow-acting poison that becomes more deadly as I keep ingesting it into my body. A poison that attacks not only my physical body but my very soul. This poison alters my ability to understand and discern the spiritual nature of things. This poison infects my mind so deeply that it pushes out the things of God and replaces them with the things of this world. Material and worldly possessions, food and drink, fleshly desires. These are all the areas that the poison draws my attention and focus toward. I become obsessed with the world and all it has to offer. I lose sight of the fact that to focus on and attain these pleasures, I must return to Egypt. I must return to the yoke of slavery to sin.
Look at what the people of Israel were willing to give up in exchange for satisfying this craving. The Lord was providing their daily bread from the dew of the ground. Each and every morning when the people awoke, there was manna on the ground ready and waiting for them. A miraculous food that was uniquely provided for them day by day without any effort needed on their part.
So too with me. I become complacent with the steadfast and consistent blessing of the Lord in my life. I see the daily provision of the Lord and it becomes commonplace. I see the grace and mercy of God being poured out into my life so often that it becomes routine. It becomes background noise. It becomes distasteful at times.
The issue of my heart is that I lose sight of God’s love for me. I become so accustomed to his grace working in me that I begin to think that it is a small thing. I expect the steadfast love of God to be there for me as if I am the center and reason for being. I make it all about me. My life. My choices. My determination. My desires. My cravings. These all become focal points of how I believe God should be providing for me.
Lord Jesus. Correct my heart. Draw out this poison of self-righteousness and pride that is coursing through my veins and infecting my soul. Take away these cravings I have for the world and give me the good desires of a humble and contrite heart. A heart that seeks after Jesus. Give me eyes to see the manna that you provide for me on a daily basis. Let me feast at the table set before me and give thanks to the Lord for his steadfast love and provision. Draw me closer to you and may my eyes never drift away from your gaze and good pleasure.