But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)
I often find myself marveling at verses like this one. I wonder at times if the Lord is pleased with me. I wonder if I am doing enough, or if I am good enough. I wonder if I said the right words and performed the right steps. I want to be a useful servant to the Lord. I want the Lord to be proud of me. None of these thoughts are bad. It is good to have this desire, but what I forget is that the Lord is more concerned with my heart than he is with my appearance. It’s hard to measure the state of my heart in some ways, yet it is important to do just that. It is important to take a deep gaze into my heart every day and scrutinize what I see within. For this is where the eyes of the Lord focus their attention. It’s not on how I present myself to others. It’s not my accomplishments in this world. It’s not my influence and persuasion upon others. It’s not even my faithful adherence to spiritual disciplines. It is simply my heart. My heart is the centerpiece of who I am. My heart is the tip of the spear. In all things, my heart is the engine that drives and fuels my words and actions.
I find it is much easier to be Saul than to be David. Saul prioritized the approval of people over and above obedience and faithfulness to God. His heart drove his every decision, but his heart was defective. His heart loved the praise of man, and it was wholly set on its pursuit. Look at this verse from 1 Samuel 15:30, ‘Then he said, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the LORD your God.” (ESV) Even as the kingdom is being ripped away from him because of his disobedience and hard heart, Saul cared about one thing and one thing only. There was no repentance, only acknowledgement of his sin. Where there should have been repentance, he sought to ensure that he would not lose any status or be embarrassed before the people. I find it striking that he ends his request by telling Samuel that he wants to bow before Samuel’s God. There is a tacit reminder that his heart is not focused on the Lord his God.
I find this same heart attitude alive in me as well. I want to serve the Lord, but I also want others to know about it. I want to have an impact in the lives of others for the glory of God, but I want to make sure people thank me. I want to be seen as a leader. I want to be seen as intelligent. I want to be known for my humility. My heart takes all of these good intentions and twists them. The sin in my heart distorts my affections and bends them backwards unto myself. I am mostly oblivious to this. I choose to ignore the warning signs. I choose to whitewash the stains of sin that touch my good intentions.
I think my takeaway from this is that I do not value my heart. God values and cares for my heart, yet I tend to neglect my heart and leave it in disarray. I need to take my focus off the cares and concerns of this life and set my heart’s attention, desires, and affections upon Jesus. He needs to be my why for every action. It’s not so much “what would Jesus do” but rather “Why” did Jesus do. The answer to that is always the same. Because he loved the Father and the Father loved him. So, in every thought, every action, every word, every inaction, every moment of every day I should be focused simply on loving Jesus. He is not just my motivation for the godly spiritual things but the every moment by moment things. This is the heart God looks for. A heart that is wholly set on loving him completely in humility and intentionality.