Category: Journal Reflection

These are my journal entries after reflecting and meditating on my Bible reading.

Go Away

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And as he reasoned about righteousness and self-control and the coming judgment, Felix was alarmed and said, “Go away for the present. When I get an opportunity I will summon you.”

Acts 24:25  (ESV)

What do we do when we encounter a Biblical truth that runs contrary to our current lifestyle or comfort level with sin? Often, we respond to God in the same manner that Felix responds to Paul after hearing the gospel proclaimed before him. Our first instinct is to remove from our presence the offending words calling us to repentance and faith. Like Felix, we put them away from us so that we may go on about our life as we see fit. To soften the decision we may even tell ourselves that we will think about this later, when we’re ready. I know this is true in my own life. There have been numerous times where the Lord brought spiritual insight and conviction into my heart about a particular sin and my response was exactly the same as Felix. I set it aside and told myself I would work on this at the next opportunity. All because I still wanted my sin more than I wanted Jesus.

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A Beggar’s Heart

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As they went out, the people begged that these things might be told them the next Sabbath.

Acts 13:42 (ESV)

As Paul finished preaching his sermon in Antioch for the first time, the people who listened had this pure and simple hunger to hear the Word of God preached to them more and more. The people were begging Paul and Barnabas to come again on the next Sabbath and preach more. They were not content to just take the experience and move on with their lives. They had experienced something far deeper than a mere encouragement. They experienced the Gospel of Christ and it moved them. They were moved in their heart and soul to beg these men to come again and preach this message. There was now a hunger and a thirst for the Word of God to be explained and applied. They were not going to be satisfied with this one-time emotional moment. They begged to hear the words of Christ. What does this mean for me?

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The Lord Sees

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But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)

I often find myself marveling at verses like this one. I wonder at times if the Lord is pleased with me. I wonder if I am doing enough, or if I am good enough. I wonder if I said the right words and performed the right steps. I want to be a useful servant to the Lord. I want the Lord to be proud of me. None of these thoughts are bad. It is good to have this desire, but what I forget is that the Lord is more concerned with my heart than he is with my appearance. It’s hard to measure the state of my heart in some ways, yet it is important to do just that. It is important to take a deep gaze into my heart every day and scrutinize what I see within. For this is where the eyes of the Lord focus their attention. It’s not on how I present myself to others. It’s not my accomplishments in this world. It’s not my influence and persuasion upon others. It’s not even my faithful adherence to spiritual disciplines. It is simply my heart. My heart is the centerpiece of who I am. My heart is the tip of the spear. In all things, my heart is the engine that drives and fuels my words and actions.

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Flirting with Sin

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And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death.

Judges 16:16 (ESV)

The story of Samson has always been a bit of an intrigue for me. It comes across as just a good story of an interesting character. A character who had his flaws and who also loved the Lord. This mix of passion for God and passion for the world always strikes me in a concerning way because I see a lot of Samson in my life. Which is why when I typically read his story, I tend to focus on the action of the fantastic elements of his story and character. As I read this morning and reflected on his interaction with Delilah, I saw more than just the pride of a man with all the strength of the Lord flowing out of him. I saw a man who flirted with sin until he finally fell.

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Called by Name

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Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher). (ESV)

John 20:16

There are a lot of wonderful things happening in the stories of the resurrection of Jesus. Each gospel writer chooses the particular events and moments to capture. This story of Mary at the tomb was particularly meaningful to me this morning as I was reading and thinking about life. Mary is deep in grief and sadness over the death of Jesus. As she comes to the tomb to continue her mourning, she is distraught to see that the body of Jesus is no longer there and has been moved. She confronts the angels who are there and begs them to tell her where they have taken the body. At this, she turns to see Jesus but does not recognize him. He even asks her a question and she still doesn’t recognize him. It is only when he says her name that she recognizes him and clings to him. There is something special and beautiful about Jesus simply saying her name to her. An intimate and special bond is renewed and refreshed as he calls her name. She responds in happiness and joy at the mere mentioning of her name. She clings to her Savior. She desire to hold onto him and never let him go. She has found what she thought was lost and is overwhelmed with joy in the moment. What is it about this short scene that speaks to me? There are three things I find important.

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Striking Jesus

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When he had said these things, one of the officers standing by struck Jesus with his hand, saying, “Is that how you answer the high priest?”

John 18:22 (ESV)

As I was reading through the Gospel of John chapter 18 this morning for my devotional, I became intrigued with this interaction of the High Priest officers with Jesus. On this side of the cross it is quite a shocking statement to read that a man, any man, would actually strike Jesus for something he said. Here is the one and only Son of God standing before the High Priest, the representative of the whole of the priesthood and Jewish religion, being questioned directly about his statements and teachings. The very ones who are tasked with ensuring that the worship of God is performed in a correct manner and the law of God is taught to the people. These are the ones who are questioning the bodily fulfillment of all that they represent and protect. Here is the man they have been hoping and waiting for these many long years. And when it finally comes to the critical point, there is only hatred and disbelief. This officer, whose duty it was to protect the High Priest and defend his office and role, struck Jesus for what he perceived as disrespectful talk to their leader. The One they were worshipping was standing before them, and they took offense at him and struck him.

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Smell of Death

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Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.”

John 11:39 (ESV)

Here is Jesus at the tomb, preparing the people for the miraculous resurrection of Lazarus from the dead. It is a very emotional moment in the life of Jesus as John tells us he is deeply moved twice in this one scene. Jesus is even brought to tears as we weeps with the people. This is one of the most rich texts of the Gospels that gives us a deep insight into the heart of Jesus as it delves into his emotions and motivations. There is a lot going on in this passage. In this verse, after hearing from Jesus that they are to take away the stone covering the cave, Martha confirms for us that Lazarus has not just recently passed away but has been dead for four days. He is not just dead, but he is dead dead. He has been dead long enough for the decomposition of his body to begin and the putrid stink of death to be pervasive. Martha is concerned that this is not just some recently deceased person, but is a person who is way past the point of return. This is why when Jesus was told that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer where he was. Why? Because he loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. He loved them and knew that he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead and make him whole again. All for the glory of God that they might believe.

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Seek and Find

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But from there you will seek the LORD your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Deuteronomy 4:29 (ESV)

This is a wonderful promise that I needed to hear this day. The promise that a heart that is seeking the Lord will surely find Him. There is often a notion that God is hidden from us and that we can never truly see and know him. That our own sinfulness keeps God at a distance and prevents us from finding him and knowing him. That may be true in the sense that our sin will keep us from seeking him with all our hearts and all our soul, but it is not true that we must do something about our sin first before we seek the Lord. Jesus calls us to come to him with our heavy ladens of burden and worry. He calls us to come to him. He wants to be found. He wants us to search after him with all our heart and soul when we are at our very best and when we are at our very worst. I don’t have to clean myself up first and then seek the Lord. No… I can and should seek the Lord with all my heart and all my soul in every moment of my life. When sin has me beaten down, this is when I should seek Jesus all the more. The only condition is that I seek him with everything I have, both heart and soul.

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The Father Seeks

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But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.

John 4:23 (ESV)

What is it that the Father is seeking? True worshippers. And what are the qualities and character of a true worshipper? They worship the Father in spirit and truth. So the Father is seeking people who worship the Lord God Almighty with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength. Not a casual worshipper, but one that walks the path of faith in humility, repentance, and trust in the triune God. True worshippers that bring their offerings of praise and thanksgiving to the Father, through the Son, in the Spirit. They worship the Father intentionally and with devotion. They worship the Lord not for what he can give them but for who He is, the Great and Mighty Lord of all the Universe.

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Be a Nobody

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He must increase, but I must decrease.”

John 3:30 (ESV)

Here is a statement from a man of God who truly understands his purpose and calling from the Lord. It is a tremendous statement when you think about the person who said these words. John the Baptist was no ordinary person in the canon of Scripture. Here was a man called from birth to be a prophet. Specifically, the last Old Testament prophet. The prophet who was tasked with announcing to the world that the Messiah had arrived. His ministry was flourishing. He was seeing numerous people come to faith. He had a devoted multitude of followers. It would have been “natural” for him to lose sight of his mission and be satisfied with these earthly blessings. It would have been “normal” for him to bask in the praise of these men and women seeking God and honoring him for his service. Yet, John never lost sight of his purpose and mission in ministry. He was there for a singular reason – to point people to Jesus. And point people to Jesus is what he did. When at last he was confronted with questions about the diminishing crowds impacting his ministerial effectiveness, he knew the right answer. “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Read more: Be a Nobody

Is this true in my life? I want it to be true. I want the heartbeat of my spiritual life to be uniquely focused on pointing people to Jesus but oftentimes I am too self-centered. I preach and teach a message of grace and mercy found only in Christ, while at the same time desiring the applause of people for my work and my words. Too often in my life I aspire to see myself increase. Even for good and righteous things I seek this. I want to better use the gifts and skills that the Lord has given me, so it is only “natural” that I would need to seek and gather a larger audience to hear my words so they can then be pointed to Jesus. I wrap all of my words and thoughts around spiritual ideals but my heart is often proud and seeks the spotlight.

What I need is the same heart of humility that John the Baptist puts on display. I need to emulate this man of unique and special giftedness. Not in how he did ministry but in why he did ministry. John was absolutely convinced and sold out to the calling of bearing witness of Jesus to everyone. His purpose was to be a pointer and he focused exclusively on pointing. John was willing to move from the mountaintop of popularity and excitement to the valley of being forgotten and irrelevant if it meant that Jesus was magnified and exalted.

I want to be satisfied with being a nobody. I mean that I want to be so satisfied and content with my relationship and calling with Christ that everything else just fades into the background. I want to be used of Christ in whatever manner he sees fit to use me. If this means that very few people even know my name, then praise the Lord. My faith and obedience should not and cannot be measured by statistical metrics. Numbers of followers, likes, and reposts should not be a driving factor. They shouldn’t be a factor at all. The only thing that matters is that Jesus loves me fully and completely. I have the full attention of the Creator. The one who holds every atom and molecule in place not only knows my name but knows me intimately and desires to share himself with me. I may be a nobody to the world but I am a child of the King of Kings. I am an heir with Christ. This nobody is precious to the only Somebody that really truly matters.