Little Faith

Journal Entry // January 30, 2022

But Jesus, aware of this, said, “O you of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves the fact that you have no bread?

Matthew 16:8 ESV

“O you of little faith” has once again come from my reading and into my heart. Especially penetrating this week because I have been feeling the smallness of my own faith. Like the disciples, I too can so easily forget all the many wonders and blessings of the Lord in my life. I can forget the amazing miracle of feeding 5,000+ with a few loaves and then worry that I don’t have enough bread for today. I forget that my Father loves and cares for me. I forget all his provision and steadfastness in my life. I worry and fret over the most mundane and simple things.

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Green Olive Tree

Journal Entry // February 23, 2021

But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever.

Psalm 52:8 ESV

There were several phrases and ideas in my reading this morning that struck me and would have made for helpful journal entries. Phrases that helped me understand what God delights in, what a broken heart and spirit mean, and how quickly we can turn from praise to wickedness. In the end, I chose this passage because it compares nicely with Psalm 1 and is a great word picture of living a life that fully trusts and rests on God alone.

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Sure Footed

Journal Entry // December 19, 2021

GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:19 ESV

This message from Habakkuk moves from questioning God with complaints about his purposes in this world to humble reliance upon the grace and mercy of the Lord. This last portion of the message is always so encouraging to me. Habakkuk begins this portion by listing off the different struggles that threaten life in his day. Fig trees not blossoming, no fruit on the vine, no olives, no harvest from the field, the flock and herd are no more. These are the personal disasters of my life pilling up on one on another. So that not only does today bring challenge and trouble, but the future is now in doubt as well. I feel this with Habakkuk and I understand and experience this worry with him – an anxiousness for the future.

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Sure Fulfillment

Journal Entry // December 18, 2021

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end-it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

Habakkuk 2:3 ESV

Patience… Perseverance.. Steadfastness… These are the character traits that the Lord continues to press into my life at the moment. It seems as though every day I am having to learn this same lesson over and over again. I am learning to be patient as I learn about being patient.

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Irrationally Angry

Journal Entry // December 8, 2021

But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.”

Jonah 4:9 ESV

Jonah is a tough read for me. I really enjoy the honesty of Jonah’s life and how we get a real glimpse of life at a prophet. There’s no doubt Jonah loved God and there is no doubt that God loves Jonah and used him in amazing ways, but I see far too much of myself in how Jonah respond to adversity and God’s plan. Even after Jonah repents inside the fish and is vomited onto the shore heading to Nineveh and sees a whole city repent in response to his message of destruction, Jonah is not only unhappy but angry. Not just angry, but irrationally angry.

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Fatherly Love

Journal Entry // December 4, 2021

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

1 John 3:1 ESV

There is a lot going on in this short verse. I am always amazed at the depth of the word of God. I can read this verse every year during my reading and get the overall point and have it impact me. Then I can come to it this morning and dig deeper into it and get even more. I’m sure if I actually got into commentaries and the customs of the time to see more context, there would be more still. This morning though, I am interested in the “kind of love” the Father has given.

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Holy Trust

Journal Entry // January 30, 2021

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

Psalm 20:7 ESV

Is this statement true for me in my moment by moment life? I know that in a general sense, I would acknowledge this without hesitation. My desire and my hope is trusting in the name of the Lord. I want this to be the life rhythm of my heart. But do I actually trust the Lord? What do my actions and heart tell me about this trust? It’s easy to just walk through life believing something to be true without actually possessing it. If I am honest with myself, I’m not so sure I completely and fully trust the Lord. I fear that I am trusting in the things of this world or worse yet, I am trusting in myself.

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Sure Contentment

Journal Entry // November 11, 2021

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5 ESV

Be content… This is the life lesson that God has been teaching me these last couple of years. Well, at least one of the lessons. An important lesson that I have struggled to grasp hold of in a deep meaningful way. I can look back over the last ten years of life and see how discontented I truly was with everything. I can now see how the love of money was quietly weaving itself into my everyday thoughts. I can see a bit more clearly how I was living a double minded life. Trying to serve Christ as best I could, but also wanting the things of this world.

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Bountiful Love

Journal Entry // January 24, 2021

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13:5-6 ESV

Remember… Remember all that the Lord has done for me. Remember his steadfast love. Remember his salvation. Remember how bountiful his dealing with me has been. These are the keys to the sorrow in my heart and the grayness in my soul. These feelings tell me that God is far from me and has forgotten me and is hiding his face from me. But these feelings lie to me. My flesh tells me these lies to draw my heart away from Christ. To keep my sorrow and worry in the forefront of my eye’s perception and my heart’s understanding.

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