Journal Entry // October 15, 2021
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,  that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.2 Timothy 3:16-17 ESV
The Bible is central to living a godly righteous life in that it is profitable for maturing faith into completeness. We are all looking at the world around us and looking for greater simplicity: ten steps to joy, four keys to happiness, or three rules for peace. We all want to find a path that is simple, easy, and painless. But the way of godly righteousness, the way of the cross, is filled with teaching, reproof, correction, and training in the Bible. All of these are difficult in some way and necessary for our development. Completeness before God requires struggle.
I don’t want this struggle and strife in my life. I don’t want reproof and correction. I don’t like being reminded of my failure. I don’t like having my weakness exposed for all to see. But when this is done through the lens of God’s word, it is of intense value. These last two years have been and continue to be filled with daily training in righteousness. For two years, God’s hand has been heavy upon my heart. I feel like I am on a journey fully exposed to the penetrating light and heat of the sun at all times. There has been little shade to rest on this journey, as the sun is continually shining and the heat is continuing to oppress me.
I don’t mean this as a negative statement where I am angry with God. Not at all. I know that his Bible has been revealing the hidden secrets that are deeply rooted in my heart. Every day there is God’s gentle touch upon me through the teaching, reproof, and correction of his Word. Every day he reveals how weak I truly am in my own strength. Every day there is struggle on every level to bring completeness and maturity to bear on my life.
I better understand my weakness and frailty. I understand my propensity and appetite for idols. I see my flesh lashing out to not give up. God’s word is opening my eyes to see my life and the world around me through his eyes. I am learning to be patient and wait upon the Lord for all things. I am learning to cast my idols far from me. I am learning to be humble. I am learning to be obscure. I am learning to be content with this path and journey.
The path God has me on is a path that I would have never chosen. The path I had chosen was leading me toward destruction, until God rescued me. He rescued me by taking everything that I was depending upon and tossed it all away. Everything that I looked upon as central to my happiness. All of it was stripped away and I am left with only the essentials. He is teaching me humility and dependence. I am learning to trust in Christ alone.
I had been expecting God to restore all these things to me, but I realize that is not the answer. That path is closed off and behind me. Those former things are like Egypt for me – a time of bondage and slavery to sin. This desert wandering is special. Special because God is leading me. Special because he is preparing and maturing me. Special because he is providing in miraculous ways. Special because I am learning to trust my heavenly Father. I can more clearly see his love for me and I can better understand how to love him. How to come humble before Jesus and just rest in his presence. Confident in him alone.