Nurturing Sin

Journal Entry // April 26, 2021

During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him,

John 13:2 ESV

Even after the heart of Judas had been deceived and he was committed to betraying Jesus, Judas spent intimate moments with Jesus. Many close fellowship times with the Lord and his fellow disciples. Known active sin being nurtured in his heart all the while spending time outwardly playing the part of follower. So much so, that the other disciples could not even conceive of the betrayal to come.

This is my heart… I can feel this deep within me. How often do I nurture the bile of sin deep within my heart while I outwardly show the mask of obedience and faithfulness. Sin is so deceptive and deep within. It is not only able to deceive me into wearing the mask, but then uses that very mask wearing against me with guilt and shame. Guilt and shame meant to drive me away from my Savior. Meant to follow Judas it into the darkness for my betrayal.

But Christ is merciful to me. He grants me grace and forgiveness. My sin is like a mountain range with its reach far and wide. God’s grace and mercy is like the universe with its depth and width unknowable. Sin looks so intimidating and daunting. It looks for all accounts as if it is unassailable, but what is a mountain range in comparison to the whole of the universe. It is but a blip on the scale. Less than a blip on the scale. God’s goodness and faithfulness, his mercy and grace, his love and forgiveness – they cover over all my sin completely and surely.

Sin has no hold on my life. Sin has no right over my life. The only power that sin has in my heart is that power I freely give away. No, the power of Christ within me is more than enough. It is an every flowing river of life bursting forth from within me. The Spirit of the living God dwells within me. I am forgiven and set free. I am a child of God. I am loved completely.

Sin only has what power I give it in my life. For far too long, I have been afraid of my sin. I have had a fear of sin and not a fear of the Lord. I have allowed sin to reign. No more.

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