Journal Entry // August 29, 2022
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, (ESV)Ephesians 3:20
My faith is so incredibly small and limited when it comes to truly understanding the power of the Spirit at work within me, the abundance of grace available through Christ, and the immeasurable riches of kindness that the Father lavishes upon me each and every day. My scope of comprehending the love of God for me and the depth of his care is so very limited by my inability to remember that the one who dwells within me is the same one who has created and continues to uphold everything that I see. He is able to do far more abundantly than I think or ask. He is more powerful, wonderful, and kind than I can imagine. I want to limit him as I think about what is possible as I place human restrictions on an eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent God. I need to step back from my weak misguided fears and anxieties and look to the one who is perfect and true. The one who truly loves me. The only one who is able to not only fulfill all his promises but the One who loves me and cares for me perfectly.
It is concerning to me that I continue to think and ask of God in terms that are so limited and based on what is possible or impossible in terms of human ingenuity. I fall into the worldly trap of believing that we modern people have all the answers and understanding. I fall into this trap of thinking that what seems impossible to my mind is surely impossible. I try to put the God and Creator of the universe in a box. I don’t mean to do this but I continue to think and pray as though I already know the answer. I see the mountain before me and understand the impossibility of commanding it to go jump in the sea. Yet, that is exactly what Jesus told me I could pray in and through the Spirit. My brain rebels and my faith shrinks at the thought.
I need the grace of Christ to penetrate my stubbornly weak heart and mind. I need Jesus to increase my faith. I need to taste and see that the Lord is good. I need to step out in faith and ask mighty things of God and watch him provide far more abundantly as I rest in his goodness and kindness. In humility, I need to rest in Jesus and comprehend that he is truly all I ever need. Jesus is my abundance. This is the base of my faith. I can freely ask the Lord for the desires of my heart as I rest in the completeness of Christ in me knowing that I have everything already. Material possessions, status, acclaim… these are all fleeting things that will bring a sort of happiness for a time. True eternal joy and pleasure can only be found in Christ alone. As I rest in Christ and he gives me the desires of my heart, I can ask of him to provide from this abundance. I can ask this because I will not be seeking gain for myself but for the name of Jesus. And the Father will provide more abundantly than I can ever imagine as he shines the light of the glory of Christ and his gospel message in and through me.