And the people spoke against God and against Moses, “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food.”
Numbers 21:5 (ESV)
There are a lot of feelings and emotions within me that get stirred up by this singular verse. For the most part, when I hear this complaint from the people of Israel I can only hear my own voice yelling within me the same ungrateful response that is put to Moses. I often think that my complaining is harmless. I see nothing wrong with voicing my displeasure or distaste for a situation or circumstance that I may find myself. Yet, when I contemplate this complaint that the people have against Moses there are several elements of the verse that stand out to me. The people were speaking against God; the people questioned why they were rescued from slavery; the people were not satisfied with what God had provided for them in a miraculous way. This is me every day. I see and experience the grace and mercy of God in my life every day. My loving God gives me life and breathe, food and clothing, health and prosperity. But it is never enough for me. I want more. I want different. I want to find my happiness and joy in the things of this world. Thanksgiving and contentment are far removed from my heart at times.
“The people spoke against God and against Moses.” I am sure that the people didn’t realize the impact of their negativity and ingratitude. I am sure the people were telling themselves that it was ok to grumble and complain to Moses. Or maybe to be more precise to grumble against Moses. The truth of the matter is that they were grumbling and complaining to and about God. I don’t really make this connection in my time of complaining and self-pity. I don’t see that my words and actions are really and truly set against God. I convince myself that I am only speaking “my” truth and being honest before God. The truth of the matter is that I am self-centered and self-righteous. I want what I want and I want it now. If God loved me, he would give it to me as I desire.
“Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness?” The people are so unhappy about their current state that they yearn for the times of slavery. They would rather be enslaved than in their current situation. They would prefer to go back to the old and familiar because they are comfortable with what they know for certain, even if it means slavery. This is the same yearning of my heart at times. Jesus has rescued me from the dominion of darkness and has brought me out of the land of slavery to sin and into a journey of freedom with him. My mind knows this but my heart often disagrees. My heart tries to tell me that if this new life is freedom, then why is it so difficult? If this freedom is so great, why is it such a struggle? Shouldn’t this life of freedom bring joy, happiness, and contentment? Yes… And it does. It just looks different than my heart expects and keeps expecting. The joy, happiness, and contentment that is mine is found in Christ alone. He is the source of my joy and happiness. Not these fleeting momentary pleasures of the world but in the eternal, infinite, and unchanging Creator and Savior. My eyes are focused on the wrong thing.
“For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this worthless food.” Because my eyes are not focused on Christ, the source of all good things, my heart fails me. My heart focuses on the wrong things. My heart sees the blessing of God in my life but is dissatisfied with the gift. The people of Israel were given a miraculous daily bread every morning. They were fed by the hand of God each morning. They only had to walk out their door and gather the manna to be fed. Only their hearts came to despise this miracle gift. Instead of seeing the good hand of God sustaining them on their journey, they began to listen to their stomachs and desire “other” foods instead of the one God provided. This is true in my life as well. Thank you Lord for this house, but it’s missing these three things I prefer. Thank you Lord for the car you have provided, but I really wish it was newer and had better features. Thank you Lord for the job, but I really wish it was closer to my home and paid me more money. I am never quite satisfied with the good gifts God has given me.
What’s the takeaway? The answer is always the same. I need to focus my eyes on Jesus and develop a mindset of thanksgiving and humility. Instead of looking at the gift I have been given and seeing its flaws, I should look at the gift and be reminded of my Savior who gave it to me. He has given me this good gift and it is exactly what I need. If it needed to be different, God would have given a different one. My heart should see the gift and give praise and thanksgiving to God for his blessing and provision. I want to develop a heart of gratefulness. A heart that chooses to see the goodness of God in every area of my life. I want to be rid of my critical, judgmental, self-righteous attitude and instead have a humble heart that is drawn to Jesus as I reflect on the mercy and grace he freely gives to sustain me. I want to let every gift from above be a means to guide my heart to Christ. I want a heart that is humble and thankful before the Lord.