Journal Entry // November 11, 2021
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Be content… This is the life lesson that God has been teaching me these last couple of years. Well, at least one of the lessons. An important lesson that I have struggled to grasp hold of in a deep meaningful way. I can look back over the last ten years of life and see how discontented I truly was with everything. I can now see how the love of money was quietly weaving itself into my everyday thoughts. I can see a bit more clearly how I was living a double minded life. Trying to serve Christ as best I could, but also wanting the things of this world.
It is a simple matter to let the world influence my thoughts. To let down my guard and make compromises in my character. Sin promises so much and it always seems as though everyone else is thriving and enjoying the world. So I simply fall into line and begin trying to align my mind with what the world says is best. I mix in the “wisdom” of the world with the holy truth of God. I begin to seek my comfort and security from the things of this world and neglect the truth of Christ.
My battle with this has always been misdirected. My spiritual vision being clouded by the trappings of this world, allowed darkness to infiltrate my heart and influence my decisions with a diseased rationale. I thought the answer was up to me. Meaning, I needed to realign myself to the Lord. So I tried and I tried. I practiced my spiritual disciplines as best I could. I thought in them that I could please my God. I tried to be better. I tried to be pure. I tried to be obedient. But that was simply the problem. “I”… It was focused solely upon me and was doomed to fail. And fail it did.
I missed the essential teaching and lesson that Christ wants us all to know. It’s not about me. It’s not about how hard I try or how successful I am in my spiritualness. It’s not about how miserably I fail at times. It’s about Jesus. “He will never leave you not forsake you.”
This is the essentialness of being content. No matter what the situation of my life looks like, Jesus is there with me. My contentment is not dependent on how I feel or how I suffer or how I am joyful. My contentment is based on the fact that in this life, Jesus walks with me. My spiritual focus must be solely and intensely intentional about gazing at Christ. He is my source of contentment and love. And he will never leave me nor forsake me. So no matter the situation of chaos swirling around me, Jesus is the anchor of my soul. He is the solid ground bringing stability and peace. I can gaze upon his love and mercy. I can fill my heart with his grace. I can find true contentment in this world as I walk humbly in the fullness of his grace.