Self-centered Eating

Journal Entry // December 26, 2022

And when you eat and when you drink, do you not eat for yourselves and drink for yourselves?

Zechariah 7:6 ESV

Priorities and purpose continue to be the theme of my morning reflections this week. In this passage the people had sent messengers to inquire of the Lord about continuing to weep and fast at the alloted time of the months as had been their tradition from the past. Initially this sounds like a good thing. The people seem to be confirming that they are continuing in the proper path of worship. Yet, God’s answer to them is directed at their heart. The Lord speaks directly to their true intent and self-righteousness.

I find myself asking similar questions of the Lord at times. Questions that reveal my true priorities and purpose and not centered on pleasing and serving Christ but in meeting the minimum requirements to appease the one I fear. Why do I prioritize reading and reflecting on the Bible every morning? Do I truly want to meet with the Lord and enjoy a time of fellowship and communion with him or do I perform my duty before him so that he will be pleased with my obedience? The simple answer can be found in how easily I can neglect spending this intimate time with the Lord. I can readily find a reason or an excuse to skip this reading and reflection time.

Why? Because I simply make this time about me. It makes me feel good to gauge my spiritual state by my perceived obedience. It feels good to look back over a spiritual task list and see all the things “I” have done for the Lord. I find that I am eating and drinking for myself. My purpose may be to serve the Lord, but my heart is sometimes in a far of place of it’s own choosing. I just go through the motions.

I need Christ to center me back on himself. I need him to continually keep my heart in check. This begins by spending intentional heartfelt time alone with him. Not just time to check off a list of actions, but truly sitting down at the table he has prepared before me and enjoying a meal of fellowship. This takes time and this takes intention. How do I know when my purpose aligns properly? I will be changed.

Engaging with Christ will change me. It will change the direction of my focus from myself to others. I will eat and drink to not satisfy my own desires, but to please my savior. My every moment will be spent doing the will of Christ. Drawing near to him. Embracing him. Enjoying him.