Journal Entry // July 27, 2022
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. (ESV)1 Corinthians 13:12
As I look out upon this world and see all of the challenges and difficulties that are present, I am tempted to groan in frustration or sigh in exasperation as I question the holy righteous plan of God. We are all deceived to believe that what we see here on this earth is all there is and that this present reality is the measure against the standard of good. We forget that we are looking into a mirror dimly. Paul did not have in mind a modern highly reflective and accurate mirror, but more likely a mirror made of polished metal. I want to take this dim reflection that I see and make it the accurate truth. The problem is that we now only know in part. We see things dimly. We misinterpret the workings of God as we view them from our self-centered humanistic standpoint.
My mind wants to make sense of everything that is happening around me. I want to understand the reasons and rational for current circumstances and situations. I want to question the fairness of a particular situation that is uncomfortable or painful. The underlying truth behind all of these statements is that I am full of pride and self-righteousness. I think that because I can see the world through a mirror dimly, that I have full understanding. I think because I am a modern person that all the answers are available. I see the vast array of knowledge that has been gathered together and is being harnessed for use and I suppose that we modern people have the right answers and we can do just about anything we set our mind to. I think I know what is right because of this knowledge. I think I know the right direction for not only my life, but the life of all those around me. I think that I could fix all the problems if I only had the strength or power.
This is such an arrogant and sinful place for my heart to be. Where is my love for God in all of this? I cannot love God with pride swelling in my heart. Pride destroys love. Pride will only have one object of love… myself. I need more humility before the Lord. I need to properly understand who God truly is. I want to make God small and controllable. I want to put him in a box and keep him tame like a pet. This is impossible. The God of the universe cannot be boxed in to fit our foolish imagination. Our God is sovereign over ALL things. A single atom trillions of lightyears from here only obeys the will of God. His purposes cannot be thwarted. His ways are perfect. His ways are holy. His ways are good.
When Christ returns, then we will all know fully. There will be no doubt as to the magnificence and glory of our Creator. Everything that has ever happened will make perfect sense in the light of his wonderous glory. Why? Because I will see Jesus face to face and I will understand that he is the only important one and that all things are from him, and through him, and to him. All things are to demonstrate the perfect character of God. His mercy, his grace, his love, his power, patience, his kindness, his goodness, his peace, his gentleness, his faithfulness. As I look into this mirror dimly, I can see only a shadowy reflection of the tapestry of God’s character. This leads me to hope. Hope for that sure day when I will see Jesus face to face.
Lord, forgive me for making this life all about me. I continue to filter every experience through my own personal prism of self-righteousness. I don’t hope for the future enough. I don’t hope for that day when Christ will return and make all things new. No, I get caught up in my own personal adversity. I worry way too much about my current circumstances. I want to remember that you are in control. You are the one who has placed me in this exact situation with these perfectly determined trials. I know that I don’t have the strength on my own to stand. I need your strength alone, Jesus. I need you to refresh me even now. I want to take my eyes off of myself and simply gaze at Jesus. I want to trust that and believe that all of this is working for my good and the glory of Christ. I want to be found faithful. I want to love Jesus as I hope only in his saving work to bring me safely home with him.