The Closed Door

Journal Entry // December 13, 2021

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

Revelation 3:20 ESV

Just after Jesus tells us that he disciplines those he loves and that we should therefore repent, he reminds us that he is standing at the door waiting for us to welcome him in to our heart. His discipline can often make me feel isolated in my shame and guilt but Jesus doesn’t want me to feel that way or to live in that feeling. He wants me to see discipline and reproof for what it actually is – true steadfast love. A love that must bring discipline leading to repentance and in repentance there is openness. Jesus coming to me for fellowship.

He stands at my door and knocks. He doesn’t force his way into my heart and life. No, he is patiently waiting for me to respond to his knocking. He’s not just knocking though. He is speaking to me through the door. The sound of his knocking mixed with his voice carries through the door and into my inner heart. It feels as though Jesus is trying to get my attention in the midst of this time of discipline. He is wanting to wake me from my slumber. To jar me awake if need be with the knocking but to comfort me with his voice.

I must respond though. I am the one who must open the door to his voice. I have never really thought about the door being shut. At some point I must have shut the door of my heart to keep Jesus on the outside. In my disobedience and desire for sin, I shut the door and closed myself off from the light. I shut the door because the deeds of my flesh want to be done in the dark and in secret. Closing of my heart from anyone and everyone, including Jesus. Locking myself away in the darkness. Alone and miserable.

Jesus doesn’t let me stay in that state. No, he stands at the door and knocks. Speaking words of steadfast love. Inviting me to open the door to him. To restore fellowship. But I must repent of my disobedience. I must ask forgiveness and turn from my sin. That’s the only way to open the door. That’s the only way to restore fellowship. And fellowship will be restored. Jesus promises to come in and eat together. We will share a meal together. As friends and family gather around a table to share a meal, so too will Jesus come through my open door and share a meal with me. A meal to satisfy my hunger. My hunger for belonging, value, and love will all be satisfied in Christ alone. His meal is a great feast. Feasting upon his grace and mercy and love.