Journal Entry // December 15, 2021
The LORD is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.
Nahum 1:7 ESV
The Lord is good… I sometimes forget this simple truth in my everyday life. Not that I ever think the Lord is not good, but I just simply forget the he is good, always good. I tend to lose sight of God’s goodness when I become too self-absorbed and start believing that the whole universe revolves around me instead of my good God. I take every negative moment, at least what seems negative to me in the moment, and twist it to question God’s goodness. As if the negative moments were anomalies not really meant to happen, somehow out of God’s control. I forget that God’s goodness contains these “negative” moments. These negatives are blessings driving into the arms of Christ.
A stronghold… These negative moments, these troubles are here for my good and God’s glory. This day of trouble moves me to action. In the day of trouble I need a stronghold to take refuge. Trouble sends me running to the Lord. Trouble pricks my calloused heart, my wandering eyes, and my crooked thoughts. The day of trouble helps me better see the state of my soul before the Lord. Sin becomes more evident and my need for Christ magnified. The day of trouble humbles me. And in the midst of it all is God, my stronghold. My fortress of safety and protection from the storm. He is my shelter. My refuge.
He knows me… What do I find in this stronghold? Comfort? Peace? Rest? Yes and so much more. What I find in this refuge is that I am known by God. Not that God knows of me or about me but that he knows me intimately. He knows my soul. And loves me. In the day of trouble I always feel most unlovable. But it’s at this point, this low point, this state of humility that I realize that God’s love for me is different. It’s not love as I understand. It’s a true unconditional love. A true Father’s perfect love for his imperfect child. He loves me because he loves me. And in the storm of trouble and chaos I can take refuge in his love. I can see and feel his great love for me and better understand that this is a steadfast love. A love not dependent upon anything in me. The Lord knows me. He always knows me.
This is the truth about myself that I struggle with most. I feel the weight of my sin every day. Like a backpack full of heavy stones that I must pick up and carry every morning. But this is not the case. Jesus has taken my sins upon himself and paid the price for my redemption and freedom. I am free. I am free to take refuge in the Lord. The one who knows me welcomes me. The Lord loves me. Intimately.